Life...........by Christina

"but i do have the answer to your question - i know why you keep yourself alive. one of the greatest and most beautiful things about human nature is our element of curiousity. without it there would be no urpose in life, b/c we wouldnt care about anything. but were curious, and we do care, so we keep going. all of us. its the reason we manage to drag ourselves out of bed in the morning. its the reason we dont jump out of the window of the bedroom. and its the reason that we keep trying, over and over and over again, even after we get hurt worse than we ever thought possible, b/c somewhere out there is this idea that has been planted in our brain that life really is worth it and there is something that is worth living for. and b/c were curious and want to know, we keep on going. that is why you keep yourself alive."

Thank you Christina for your personal insight into life.

Top new music on my computer

Death Cab For Cutie, Dashboard Confessional, Velvet Revolver, The White Stripes, Jet, Alter Bridge. May not be new for you, but it's new on my computer.

Feed me Semore........Feed Me!!

Man, I need a girl.  Maybe its just because I have to sit in this house day after day after day after day after day after day....... alone most of the day and the only company I ever really have is my Mom and her 31 year old roommate.  I cant really tell if its the physical part of me talking or the emotional part or both.  I guess both because I mean what guy doesn't want to get laid every now again............ok all the time.............. but i also just want a girl to  be there and chill with and know that hey she really digs me over every other guy.  I need to feel important again.  Not that I consider my self unimportant now cuz I dont, i have friends and family and thats totaly cool and I cant imagine what I'd do with out them,  but you know what i mean.

Every year I start school with one thing in mind when it comes to girls, get a girlfriend or at least get laid.  So far, that has happend 2 out of 3 years.  Not to bad for a guy of my..............stature.............. and for a guy that never had anything close to a gf in high school, but I've got to get back into the swing of things.  The best opportunity I had last year I totaly threw away because I was fucking blind and was thinking with my dick and not my head.  Well I learned my lesson after she stoped talking to me all together.

Maybe I should do what I did my 1st year which was just show up and do school and just see if one comes along instead of looking for one.  Cuz I still got one that year.  Second year I came looking for one and got one.  Third year came looking for one and almost kinda got one, but I guess all the crap that was still going on in my life from that summer and what was being carried over from that last semester just needed to be dealt with and fixed before I could really move on.  So maybe that was why nothing ever happend.  Well, only a few more weeks until I get back and see how my luck turns out this year.  Wish me luck.

Well today was an interesting day. I talked to someone I hadn't talked to in a very long time only to find out that the reason we hadn't talked in so long wasn't the actual reason AT ALL. I know this sounds pretty vauge, but its a long long story and nothing can change what happend anyway. I can tell you its a girl I use to know and that she seems to be doing pretty well for her self now days. I always wondered how she was doing and what exactly happend that summer. Now I know...and knowings half the battle :) GI JOE!!! hehe jk. Anywayz, it was good to talk to her finaly. I had debated weither or not to IM her for a few days now. Im surprised I still remembered her screen name. We cleared up some............misunderstandings.........we had about each other and what went on. So, in summary, Id like to thank Shelley for giving me that shove to IM her finaly.

And that, as they say, is the rest of the story.