First Day of Work and Damn Girls!

Today was my first day of official work. Started my regular 8-2pm shift and it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Time actually passed by pretty fast. I didn't even really have that many calls. Which you can see on the front page by the jump in the number. That number is not an exact number by the way, I missed a few or forget to make a tally on a few of them. Again, I have been denied coffee with Liz. Saturday she had to go see a friends band play, Sunday was father's day, Monday I couldn't get off work in time, today her parents came into town, tomorrow night she "might" be going to see a hockey game so I took that as, don't count on it, so I said well then fine what about tomorrow afternoon? She said that was good. So...one more time...we are going to try to hang out for a while. It must be destiny that we not ever be allowed to hang out together. Speaking of trying to hang out with girls, I actually talked to Ginny today for the first time in a few wee ks. I just happen to catch her online for like the 10min she was on. She said she still wanted to hang ou t sometime too so I tried to set a day and time for her as well. We are suppose to try to hang out on Saturday... sometime... she didn't give me an exact time because she doesn't know. So I told her to email me or call me whenever she finds out when.... you women are so confusing!!! lol. Geez this entry makes me sound like I'm pimp or something. Hellz ya!! hahaha jk!!! So plans for tomorrow are as follows: work until 2, "TRY" to hang out with Liz again at 4 and pray to God that he actually allows it to happen this time, then if all goes well come home and chill with certain since of accomplishment. Now in reality, things will probably happen like this: work an awful job until 2 where I will be hounded for every little mistake I make, have Liz cancel on me sometime before 4 or I'll have to cancel for some odd reason that will appear, come home and sleep off my shitty mood I'll be in. Which one will happen, I'm hoping the first one.

Sarah Sullivan - the girl, the legend, the song...

So I think I've just about given up on the audio entries for now. Something about when I listen to my self read them, they never come out the way I want them to sound. No t to mention its a pain in the ass kinda to make them. So I figure I'll just go back to regular entries. I went and saw Batman Begins Wednesday night. Good lord that was awesome!! So much better than the previous two movies and probably better than the first Tim Burton Batman, but its a close call. I think that each person had their different take on the character. This new one obviously focuses on the whole "scary" factor and tried to really infasize that fear is what will keep the criminals in line. I was definitly more scared of this Batman than of all the other ones. And I like how this one stuck to the comic book more than the first movie did. So a funny thing happened to me tonight at kharma. The girl that the original version of My Life Sucks was writen about came in!! Thats right, Sarah fucking Sullivan! I was like HOLY SHIT! I hadn't seen that girl since the day I graduated high school. She came in with Philip who lives up here and also went to my high school. She only stayed for about 5min but wow, it was just very interesting to see the girl I've been singing about for the last 7 years. Pretty odd. Anywayz....hm...what else is going on....Still in training at work, but I actualy got to take 2 phone calls today WOOT! I didn't fuck up to badly. I added in a call counter on the front page so I can keep track of how many calls I've taken there. Every time I take a call I'll make a tally on a sheet of paper and at the end of the day, count them, add up the total with the existing number, then update it. So we'll see how long I stick with that one. Ok Im bored with this now lol, im done.

Horray!

Well ok so maybe life isn't so bad after all. I just went to kharma and had a good time talking with this girl. She was cool and totally cheered me up which was exactly what I needed. See, I love having a spot where I can go and meet people and just hang out and have a good time. Everyone needs a place like that, a place to get away, horray for Kharma! WOOT

Feeling Broken

Another day, another dawn. So today in the exciting life of Patrick nothing really happened again. I had the third day of training on the job and we don't have it tomorrow because th ey are being audited. I'm getting better on the scooter, I didn't fall off today which is good. I'm still kind of depressed though. I guess it hung over from yesterday morning. I don't know, those dreams just really got me going. I actualy saw her picture on the facebook today. She had changed it from what it was the last time i saw it. I didn't even want to check the profile. I was thinking about it today and I dont even want to know anything about her right now. Not about where she is or what she's doing or anything. Just not ready I suppose. I fucking hate feeling like this. I was told from a friend online that I just need more time and when I thought about it, I guess its only just now been over a month, but damn it feels like it was forever ago. That whole relationship just seems like a dream to me now. I mean I know it happened, and I know what I said and did, but its like it was a different person. Maybe I just feel that way because it hit me so hard that the little piece inside of me, lets call it "the love piece," just snapped in two. And let me tell you... that's a big damn piece. I know the time is coming soon when she will be back in Denton for summer II classes and after that its only a matter of time before I either run into her or she tries to make contact with me, which ever comes first I wish it didn 't have to happen. I still dont know what to say to her or how to act. Do I tell her off and tell her how she destroyed me or do I play it off like shes nothing to me now, which would be a lie. A part of me still wants to run up to her and say all the things I use to say to her but I know I can't. And maybe there is that 1% chance that I do that and she says them all back, then what happens? We play the secret lovers game again? I dont think so... She would still let her mom run her life and I'd still be struggling to make ends meet and fit my self into her rich little world. I dont belong with someone like that. Some rich guy with a fancy car and a big check book will end up with her and God help him. What a mess of a family that is, well I guess its only a mess if they hate you. I'm sure her mom will make sure she ends up with someone "just perfect for her little girl." BLAAA!!! Give me a fucking break. All those damn rich denton bible christian assholes can go to hell.