Life Goes On...Slowly

There's a saying that goes goes something like this: When life gives you sour grapes, make wine" Yea I think I'm still at the sour grapes part.

How does Liesl always manage to keep these so entertaining? Hers are always deep and moving. Mine always tend to be depressing which I just told her yesterday I hate reading. No wonder no one reads this anymore. Mean while, she has a loyal band of followers, including me, who read hers religiously. I guess thats the difference between me and her.

Spider-man 3 is tonight so that will be sweet. I almost don't want to go knowing who will be there. But Denton is a small town so I better get use to it. I did with the others.

Class sucked yesterday. And it's going to suck today too. I'm so angry lately at everything. I just want to like spread it around you know?

Frustration sets in.

Slow Dancing

We're goin down
and you can see it too
We're goin down
and you know that we're doomed
my dear
we're slow dancing in a burnin room

I wish I could be happy with someone. Why is it that as soon as I am able to make my self pretty much happy being single, I find someone who I really like and then it all blows up? I dont get it at all. Its like my love life is one of those Japanese water fountans that drips into a bamboo post and when it fills up, the post will tip over and let the water run out. So as soon as my life fills up with to much happiness i tip over and all of it runs away. Life is just so depressing sometimes I think there's no purpose to it anymore. I use to know what I wanted and how I was going to get there. Now I know what I want but have no idea how to get there. I remember sitting here in the union and I couldn't wait to see her again. Now its a source of frustration.

Slow dancing in a burning room.

I Don't Want To Go

I should feel happy right now that spring break is coming up but I'm not. Why do I have this really bad feeling about going away for a week? I'm sure getting my car fixed up on saturday will cure me of a lot of these feelings but until then I just have to hang on. I don't want to come back from the break and have things be different. But they always are after a period of not being around each other. I've never been able to sustain anything past a break like this one and I hate that. And it's always their idea. They go away and they think them selves into not wanting to hang around me as much or not do something anymore or they just feel differently about me and I don't ever feel any differently about them. If anything it makes me want to be around them more.

A part of me says im worrying for nothing but I'm really not worrying for nothing because it always happens!! I don't want her emotions to end just because we spent time apart like the others did.

I don't want it to go away.