OMG....a good day!!!

I actualy had my first good day in a long time!! HOORAY!!!

Its spring break and Im here at school cuz my plans got canceled. So, day after day i get to just sit here in my room for hours on end doing pretty much whatever i want to. I met this really cool girl in a chat room today though. Her name is Shelley and she lives somewhere close to arlington, didn't tell me exactly where. We ended up talking all day pretty much. Shes going through guy problems so I gave her some advice and wished her the best. Turns out she must have really liked what I said cuz she kept coming back to talk to me again through out the day. She digs cowboy hats....score. Shes a country girl and a christian which makes it all more better. Shes going to six flags tomorrow so I'll have to find a new person to talk to all day. But yea, even though SOMEBODY nearly detroyed it, i dont let mis communications blow up into big things. i just move on.

So yes, good day. and now im going to bed and try to see if i can sleep until 8pm lol why 8pm....i dont know....just sounds good.

PS. Desi kicked a girls ass!!!!!! YOU RULE!!

Song For Dad

This is a song writen by a country singer named Keith Urban. He is pretty cool. The song is called Song for Dad and if you know anything about MY father, you'll understand why I actualy laughed out loud when i heard this today. Here are the lyrics.

Lately I've been noticing
I say the same things he used to say
And I even find myself acting the very same way
I tap my fingers on the table
To the rhythm in my soul
And I jingle the car keys
When I'm ready to go
When I look in the mirror
He's right there in my eyes
Starin' back at me and I realize

The older I get
The more I can see
How much he loved my mother and my brother and me
And he did the best that he could
And I only hope when I have my own family
That everyday I see
A little more of my father in me

There were times I thought he was bein'
Just a little bit hard on me
But now I understand he was makin' me
Become the man he knew that I could be
In everything he ever did
He always did with love
And I'm proud today to say I'm his son
When somebody says I hope I get to meet your dad
I just smile and say you already have

He's in my eyes
My heart, my soul
My hands, my pride
And when I feel alone

And I think I can't go on
I hear him sayin' "Son you'll be alright"
Everything's gonna be alright"
Yes it is

A little more of my father in me
I hope everyday I see in me
In me
In me
I hope everyday I see
A little more of my father in me


So yea that song is always good for a laugh :)

alrighty...lets go

I went to TRHA this weekend. It was really fun. Met a bunch of new people, mostly girls :) Got 3 emails from them and danced the Nsync dance for the whole place with Derek. It was SO cool.

Turns out Im not going to go see kayla this week and I didn't get to see stacy on sunday like i wanted to either. So, my plans for this week are pretty much shot. I guess I'll just stay up here all week until we go to San Antonio on Friday if we still go. My moms car broke down, so we'll see if we can get it fixed on time.

Desi, what ever you do, be safe and be smart about it.

Kayla, ok im sorry i said that, i shouldn't have used those exact words. But i still dont think you should allow this to happen.

Haven't talked to Leslie in forever. I wonder if she knows im still here...

Alrighty, i guess thats it for now.

WTF happend to me

this world is a twisted, fucked up place. Why is it that everything before 2003 was easy and everything after is hard?? At what point did life become this roller coaster of ups and downs. Is it Desi? Is it my father? What the fuck happend to me last year that I cant seem to stay happy for more than a week with out hitting one of these lows Its like every week I just want to go away and forget everything. Then I'll be happy again, but then I'll be super depressed again in a few days. Its like a cycle that never ends and just seems to spiral out of control sometimes...........is there ever an end............is there ever a moment when I'll be truely happy again? But when was the last time i was "truely happy?" Was it last semester before i got fired? When i still had stephanie and ashley wanting to hang out with me? If so, why is my happiness determind by others? Why is it since desi broke up with me i cant fall asleep most nights with out holding on to something? What the fuck happend to me and why cant i be happy for more than a few hours or few days at a time?