Sarah Sullivan - the girl, the legend, the song...

So I think I've just about given up on the audio entries for now. Something about when I listen to my self read them, they never come out the way I want them to sound. No t to mention its a pain in the ass kinda to make them. So I figure I'll just go back to regular entries. I went and saw Batman Begins Wednesday night. Good lord that was awesome!! So much better than the previous two movies and probably better than the first Tim Burton Batman, but its a close call. I think that each person had their different take on the character. This new one obviously focuses on the whole "scary" factor and tried to really infasize that fear is what will keep the criminals in line. I was definitly more scared of this Batman than of all the other ones. And I like how this one stuck to the comic book more than the first movie did. So a funny thing happened to me tonight at kharma. The girl that the original version of My Life Sucks was writen about came in!! Thats right, Sarah fucking Sullivan! I was like HOLY SHIT! I hadn't seen that girl since the day I graduated high school. She came in with Philip who lives up here and also went to my high school. She only stayed for about 5min but wow, it was just very interesting to see the girl I've been singing about for the last 7 years. Pretty odd. Anywayz....hm...what else is going on....Still in training at work, but I actualy got to take 2 phone calls today WOOT! I didn't fuck up to badly. I added in a call counter on the front page so I can keep track of how many calls I've taken there. Every time I take a call I'll make a tally on a sheet of paper and at the end of the day, count them, add up the total with the existing number, then update it. So we'll see how long I stick with that one. Ok Im bored with this now lol, im done.

Horray!

Well ok so maybe life isn't so bad after all. I just went to kharma and had a good time talking with this girl. She was cool and totally cheered me up which was exactly what I needed. See, I love having a spot where I can go and meet people and just hang out and have a good time. Everyone needs a place like that, a place to get away, horray for Kharma! WOOT

Feeling Broken

Another day, another dawn. So today in the exciting life of Patrick nothing really happened again. I had the third day of training on the job and we don't have it tomorrow because th ey are being audited. I'm getting better on the scooter, I didn't fall off today which is good. I'm still kind of depressed though. I guess it hung over from yesterday morning. I don't know, those dreams just really got me going. I actualy saw her picture on the facebook today. She had changed it from what it was the last time i saw it. I didn't even want to check the profile. I was thinking about it today and I dont even want to know anything about her right now. Not about where she is or what she's doing or anything. Just not ready I suppose. I fucking hate feeling like this. I was told from a friend online that I just need more time and when I thought about it, I guess its only just now been over a month, but damn it feels like it was forever ago. That whole relationship just seems like a dream to me now. I mean I know it happened, and I know what I said and did, but its like it was a different person. Maybe I just feel that way because it hit me so hard that the little piece inside of me, lets call it "the love piece," just snapped in two. And let me tell you... that's a big damn piece. I know the time is coming soon when she will be back in Denton for summer II classes and after that its only a matter of time before I either run into her or she tries to make contact with me, which ever comes first I wish it didn 't have to happen. I still dont know what to say to her or how to act. Do I tell her off and tell her how she destroyed me or do I play it off like shes nothing to me now, which would be a lie. A part of me still wants to run up to her and say all the things I use to say to her but I know I can't. And maybe there is that 1% chance that I do that and she says them all back, then what happens? We play the secret lovers game again? I dont think so... She would still let her mom run her life and I'd still be struggling to make ends meet and fit my self into her rich little world. I dont belong with someone like that. Some rich guy with a fancy car and a big check book will end up with her and God help him. What a mess of a family that is, well I guess its only a mess if they hate you. I'm sure her mom will make sure she ends up with someone "just perfect for her little girl." BLAAA!!! Give me a fucking break. All those damn rich denton bible christian assholes can go to hell.

Enter the Scooter

Yea I know its been almost a week since I last put something in here but so what, it's mine, I can do what I want :) Well this weekend was interesting to say the least. I decided that I needed a new way to get to work for the summer because walking 20min at 7:30am every morning was just not going to work out for me. So me and my mom decided to buy an electric scooter. Now this all seemed like a great idea until we actually bought it and I tried to ride it. It took about 3 seconds to hit the accelerator and fly off, messing up my wrist pretty good. So after trying again a few times I gave up for a few hours. After dinner we took it out to the track at the jr. high and tried it out there. After hours of falling over and over and over and over, and getting extreamly fustraited to the point of tears, I stopped for the night. Let me tell you something people, I am someone who has always worked his entire life to be like everyone else and have always been able to overcome anything I've tried to do, so failing mis erably is something I take EXTREAMLY hard. I just shut my self in my room and didn't want to come out for anything. Of course my mom had to come in and try to "comfort me" when all I wanted is to just be left alone. So what happened, ya bad times happened. For a recap, examine some of the phrases that came up more than once: "Its not fair" "I should have been driving 4 years ago""If dad was still here none of this would be happenin g" The last statement I probably shouldn't have said because damn, that just opened the door to a whole new argument. Anyways, so the next day my mom's boy friend decided to follow up a suggestion I had to put training wheels on it. He took a large slap of metal, bolted it underneith the large metal top of the scooter and attached small wheels to it. It works ok for the most part. I would have prefered the wheels to be permanent and more stable. like just making it have 4 wheels, not just two wheels and two "training wheels." I may go up to home depot and buy new ones later on this week to fix that. I dont care about learning how to ride this the correct way and have no intention of ever taking those off. Its mine, I payed for it, I'm using it, I get to modify it how I want to. Not to mention for sucking my bank account dry this month, I better damn well be able to ride that with out killing my self like I did this weekend, so bigger wheels are coming soon I promise. Ok I'm done.

PS. No audio this time on purpose.