Liesl is leaving in a little over a week and is throwing her goodbye party on friday. I'm taking Bethany so they will at least get to meet once before I lose Liesl for 5 months. I hope this turns out well. I haven't taken a girl to a party since I took Angelica to Brendan's bday party. The most I remember about that night is we went home and had sex in like 3 different rooms in the house and took a bath together. What a crazy night. Well for my relationships sake, lets hope things dont get quite that crazy friday.

You had a talk with Bethany two days ago about the physical side of relationships. You started to grab her butt and pull it closer to you and you took off her jacket and had your hand up her shirt. You took it to far dude and probably ruined your future make out sessions for a while.

Remember, you like Bethany, not just Bethany's body. She is more than her looks and her boobs and her ass. She is so much more than that to you. She is a great girl and if you screw this one up you'll never forgive your self. Pray about it and keep in mind that God is calling you to be a good man this time. Don't scare her away simply because you want to cop a feel once or twice. Remember, no neck kissing from here on either. Your hands stay off of her body unless its touching her arm or face or some other normally unsexual body part.

DO NOT MESS THIS ONE UP!!

Bethany had a panic attack yesterday. A very mild one, but her mom still said thats what it was. So, ok, one panic attack is no big deal, but I will not be drug into another Angelica or Desiree. No thank you. Not when they were having them like once a week. What a nightmare that was. I hope Bethany is doing alright today as she decided to stay home from work and just do hw all day.

Cute

I'm sitting in the union by Jasmin's and I
saw a couple outside sitting on the bench.
They seemed to be having a great time in
the warm spring sun this morning. As she
would laugh, she would do the flirting thing
where she would like touch his arm or gently
slap his leg. It was really very cute. Made me
think about things and it made me happy
to see others happy. Horray for warm days.

Over Analyzing

Emotions, feelings, thoughts, ideas...they run through my head a lot. Especially at all the wrong times. But then again, maybe it was the right time. Is it better to over analyze a situation or is it better to just "go with the flow." Sometimes I think my flow is going right off a cliff so, maybe sometimes you shouldn't just watch things happen. You have to take a stand and say "look, here is how it should be." And then when you do, you'll feel better about it. Don't lose focus on what is important in life though. Remember why you are here and how you got to where you are today. If you keep that in mind, you should have an easier time trying to figure things out. You're not going any where any time soon, so have patience and the resolve to press on correctly.

Peace

A Cool Head

its very hard sometimes to keep a cool head about Bethany. In my past relationships, and this isn't even an official one yet, we always rushed right into it. But this time things are moving at a very different pace. I find it fustraitingly healthy. I want to run kinda full speed into it and start defining everything and putting a label on it and change my facebook status but I know I can't because she would freak out.

And i ask my self, am i not happy with the way things are now? Of course I'm happy. And so what if she backs out in a week or two and decides this isn't what she wants. I'll just got back to being my self again and keep looking for the right girl. I'm not in love with her or anything. I'm not even her bf, so I could still pull out of this two if I feel something isn't going right.

I guess its better this way. You know, having a normal relationship where we date for a while, then label it as going out weeks down the road. Patience is the key here Patrick.

Patience.