"I wont worry my life away. I wont, I wont I wont worry my life way" Jason Mraz
I am happy today and Liesl's party is going to rock and I cant wait to go putt putting this afternoon. I've waited for years to go to this place and nothing...NOTHING...is going to ruin my day.
yea i know that guy is lame but come on, its a good quote. Why worry about stuff I can't control. People have to chose what is good for them selves and not what others want for them. Maybe that was my mistake. I woke up this morning kinda bummed still but as the day went on I got better. It really helps that its an amazing day out side. The wind is a little cool but with a long sleeve shirt on, i feel pretty good. I think last night became something WAY over blown when it was suppose to be much simpler and calmer talk. I wonder how much of that was my fault. I suppose I have some blame in it.
You know what, I need to go back to doing whats right for me first. I'm not saying her needs aren't important because they are, but they dont come first in my life. No one should put others needs before their own. Maybe that sounds selfish but it's got to be true or you're going to go crazy. And whats the worst that can happen? I go back to normal before I met her...oh no!! Being unattached isn't so bad. I mean, you get to do whatever you want whenever you want. Ok, so I wouldn't have anyone to really share my personal thoughts and feelings with. And I wouldn't have someone who shares that very deep connection with me. Yes that would suck....bad.....but thats why I'm not just blowing her off and we are going to try to remain being friends still. I suppose I could go back to not being friends, but thats immature and stupid. I dont want to give up a good friend because shes to busy. And who knows, maybe in a while, a long while, we'll try this again on a more involved level. But im done worrying about all of this. From here on out, I control my own emotions and my own actions. I will still see her when I can but it will be different from here on out and different will be better for us.
No more reading her journal anymore man, seriously. Her thoughts are her thoughts and they should stay that way. If you cant trust your self to not go crazy over something, just stop reading it.
I am happy today and Liesl's party is going to rock and I cant wait to go putt putting this afternoon. I've waited for years to go to this place and nothing...NOTHING...is going to ruin my day.
