Wednesday, March 10, 2004
WTF happend to me
this world is a twisted, fucked up place. Why is it that everything before 2003 was easy and everything after is hard?? At what point did life become this roller coaster of ups and downs. Is it Desi? Is it my father? What the fuck happend to me last year that I cant seem to stay happy for more than a week with out hitting one of these lows Its like every week I just want to go away and forget everything. Then I'll be happy again, but then I'll be super depressed again in a few days. Its like a cycle that never ends and just seems to spiral out of control sometimes...........is there ever an end............is there ever a moment when I'll be truely happy again? But when was the last time i was "truely happy?" Was it last semester before i got fired? When i still had stephanie and ashley wanting to hang out with me? If so, why is my happiness determind by others? Why is it since desi broke up with me i cant fall asleep most nights with out holding on to something? What the fuck happend to me and why cant i be happy for more than a few hours or few days at a time?
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5 comments:
I love you...that is all...
Dude, if you ever need to talk, you know your friends are here for ya.....If i had only known, i would have sat down with you to try and talk it out.....drop me a line....PLEASE...
i know exactly what you mean.
One of these days man, we're going to have the best fucking year ever. We're going to look back and say....."that was the best fucking year ever" .:-p Just hang in there babe. You're not alone.
dude zoloft. it helps. go see your doctor. does wonders for me.
Epiphany
Hey Patrick, it's Joey. Trust me, I understand very well what you're saying. I often wonder why nothing good last long for me. I have often wondered what is wrong with me. I recently came to the realization that the world as a whole is what's flawed. But I recently came to the understanding that sooner or later, one way or another, people get what they deserve. In the time that I have known you, I haven't known you to be anything but a good person. I have no doubt that you will find that sustained happiness, I have no doubt that I will too. Personally, I hate the waiting, but I truly believe it will be worth it. And will you find that sustained happiness, I will silently applaud you, thinking, "Score one for the good guys."
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