The Night Before Bruce

Twas the night before Bruce and all through the house
not a creature was sturing, not even a mouse.
the boxes were all packed by the door with care
in hopes that strong, able, and awake bodies would soon be there.

I was nesstled all snug in my computer chair,
while visions of women danced around my thinning hair.
And ma'ma in her kerchif and nice little cap
had just settled down for a long 8 hour nap.

When in the living room there arose such a clatter
mom sprang from her bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the living room she flew like a flash
Tore open the door with a good hard SMASH!

The light of the screen on the newly packed up room
gave a hint that the school year was about to resume.
When what to her wondering eyes should appear
I, her son, holding a whole lot of beer.

With a twist and a turn, so lively and quick
she knew in a moment i was going to be sick!
More rapid than eagles my vomits did come
and for some reason i shouted and named each one.

Now PIZZA now TACO now BURGER with fixins
on CHICKEN on TURKEY who ill call Richard Nixon!
to the top of the toelit did I slowly crawl,
now flush away flush away flush away all!

And then, in a twinkling, I heard by the door
the screaming and yelling i didn't want to take anymore.
As i drew in my hand, and was turning around
Down came the first punishment, down with a bound.

Her eyes -- how they burn! Her dimples how mean,
Her cheeks were puffy, like two big red beans.
Her droll little mouth was drawn like a frown
And i knew in an instant I had let her down.

She was screaming and yelling, a stern type of mom
and i laughed when i saw her, her temper blew like a bomb.
with a wink of her eye and a twist of her head,
Soon lead me to know i was about to be dead.

She spoke not a word, but went straight to her work
and filled up the gun, then turned with a jerk.
And laying her fingers along the trigger
and giving it a squeeze, she then took the job of grave digger.

I awoke from my chair, to my wonder and joy
it was all a bad dream, a bad dream for this little boy.
I climbed into my "bed" and snuggled in tight,
"Happy move in to all, and to all a good night!"