Shitty but ok

I feel like talking, but since no one is around to talk to or online, I am reduced to just typing it in here. The last few days have been...well...depressing. I'm not sure why either. I'm sure seeing Angelica last night didn't help any. First time I've seen her in a few weeks although it feels like I see her everyday for some reason. Today was another thursday which means me and Son had all day to hang out. We went to lunch and then went back to Bruce to hang around. I sware every time I'm over there I comoe home bumed out. Sometimes I just feel like I don't belong anywhere in this town anymore. I don't fit in with the people I live with really but I don't fit in with the people at Bruce either. Maybe this is just what real life is about. Maybe real life is about being alone and having to coupe with that fact. I often think of my brother Nicholas and how he has lived in Waco for the past few years pretty much by him self. I know he has friends and hangs out with them but his best friend is still in Dallas and I know he hasn't had a girl friend since he has been there. I talked to him a few days ago which is always good to do. We can talk for hours about everything when we get on the phone together.

On a brighter side of things though, I think I have a lunch date tomorrow although I'm not sure what exactly happened when I asked. It didn't feel like I was getting my point accross. Well we'll see what happens when I remind her tomorrow. Also, I made the front page of the NT Daily today. Last night I went to Bruce where I played lobby twister. Lili came over to take pictures and sure enough, the next day there I am right on the front page. If only there had been an article about it on there too and not just some random picture of people playing twister. Oh well. My external casing for my 120gig hard drive should be here tomorrow afternoon sometime so that will be sweet to set up and get going. Jeremy says he wants all my music when he takes my computer, only problem is that all my music is on my 120gig and there is to much of it to fit on the 10gig which is what he is taking. So I'm gonna have to pick and choose or just burn a shit load of cds for him. Supergrover had our first practice last week as well which went pretty good. If nothing else, it was fun to hang out with all of them again at once and just rock out for a while. Well thats it for now.

Working with out Joseph

Well here we are, another weekend has come and another saturday has gone by with me pretty much getting paid to watch 2 movies with Brendan. Today we watched Team America and House of the Flying Daggers. Both movies were excellent by the way. This morning though, before work, I was surfing eBay and saw a 40gig color iPod going for about $120 with only 30min left on it. So I sat around until there was 1min left, then bid on it and won! Now I didn't pay for it right away because its always good to talk to the person to make sure your not getting scamed first. Well later on that night I get an email from Ebay saying they pulled the auction because "there is a chance the sellers information may have been comprimised." So luckily since I hadn't paied him yet, no harm comes to me. But that still really sucks that I lose out on having that color iPod. UNT had their first football game at home today and they got killed 58-2. Ya I heard it was really sad.

Well Josephs been gone for about a week now and things are a bit different I guess. Going to Bruce is very different now. Usually, when I got tired of talking to freshman I could just go to Josephs, but now its like, well I guess I get to walk home unless I can find a reason to stay around. Some of them are ok to talk to but alot of them I just don't really care to get to know them. Oh well, tomorrow's another day.

Say goodbye Joseph

Ah yes, another few days have gone by and I'm at least figureing out this dreamweaver enough to where I can update my the text on here ok. Im starting to see some lag issues with my keyboard on this computer. I dont know why but there is definitly lag coming from the connection somehow. It's really bad in Dreamweaver too, but only with the keyboard, not the mouse.

Joseph went home for the semester with Mono yesterday, so there goes the one reason I had to be in Bruce. He told me to take care of the freshman for him, but exactly who is he refering too? Most of them wont even give me the time of day much less care what I have to say. A few exceptions might be some of the guys and maybe one or two girls, other than that, they can pretty much make their own choises with out me. I told Chloe online a few nights ago that I had been trying to not over stay my welcome over there and she said, "but your the one with all the stories." This is true, but I've told most of them and when I did tell them nobody seemed to care much.

I went to a park tonight with Lili, Chris, and Sarah and it was pretty fun. Me and Lili ended up talking about relationships and life and such which was awesome. Unfortunitly, right as I was really starting to open up Sarah was like, I'm tired can we go? I was like damn it no!! I really hadn't opened up like that to anyone in a long time. I guess we just want someone to listen every now and again. Ok well, a short entry tonight. I'll check back in later.

New iBook, New Bruce

Tada! It finally came in....WOOT!! Ive been using my iBook so much lately that I've been forgetting about my site here. I haven't found a good HTML editor for macs, so I cant update this as much as I would like to. And when Jeremy takes the PC away, updates will stop all together if I cant find one soon. So lets see what else has happened lately...

Classes started up again last week. After the normal fiasco of getting my schedule right and paying for everything, things are going good. I made an A on my first French Lab quiz and have a quiz in French tomorrow which I should be alright at. I'm having to cut back on my hours at work by almost half because of stupid SSI rules. What a pain in the ass. I got on SSI because I couldn't work, now I cant work because I have SSI...bastards.

So lets talk about the dorm... Bruce is very different this year. New hall director that has a giant dog, half of the RA staff is new, and I swear to God it must have only had a 15% return rate...if that! I''ve never seen such a high turn over rate for the residents like this year. Most of them are your typical freshman...excited, impressionable, innocent....all of which will change by the time this year is over. Many of them have already begun to hook up which each other. In fact Josephs new roommate hooked up with some girl in like 4 days! Should be interesting to see how the chips fall in the coming months. I tried to be friends with them at first, but I got the feeling they think I'm the old looser hanging around the dorm still. So I've decided to take more of the Son angle and try to be the cool guy who they see every now and again. The last few days I've made my apperances short and simple. When I am there I dont say much and kind of stand off in the distance and try not to look like I'm trying. Well, thats the idea anyway. Don't really know how its working. I dont want to be "that creepy guy" to anyone especially in the place where I can actually call my home more than the place where I'm living right now. I've spent more time under that roof than any other place my mom or I have lived since i was 16! I just want to make some new friends and try to help out when needed.

and of course....the ex is still around....I'll run into her about once a week or so in kharma....so yeppie.