rock is love
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YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So even though its been raining for the past...2 weeks strait, the sun came out this morning for me :) Lets see if i can explain what happend..

Angelica came over and had lunch with me and then we hung out in my room. And when i say hung out, i mean she passed out on my bed for about 30min lol. After joseph came back and she woke up, we just hung around until she had to leave. Later as I was talking to her online, i asked if she wanted to go to Beth Marie's and she said yes! So we walked there....and yes desi you were right....it took 25min to walk there. Well we got ice cream and sat out side for a while. We went to the steps of the court house to hang out, but it started to poor down rain so we ran into Jupiter House. We ended up having to call Fran to get her to come get us. She was on call of course, so she sent Luis and Bryan to get us instead. After we got back we watched Shrek on my computer and then just.... kinda.... hung around i suppose..... Luckly i was able to get joseph to stay at Sons which i know owe twice! Man i dont know how im gonna pay you back but ill find a way i promise. I think we got like 2 hours of sleep. we both ended up waking up at 4:30 and just chilled until 7am. Well at some point during those hours we were awake i asked, "so can I say we are together now" and she said, "yes." I said, "can i say we are exclusively seeing each other?" She said, "well i dont see anyone else around." I laughed. So yes, I, once again, am the only one of the 3 Stewart boys with a gf.

Ok and heres the scary part, 2 days short of 2 years ago, me and desiree started to be official. Nov 26th was our starting date then, and today is Nov 24th. Anywayz, just thought that was kinda weird.

So horray for me! Travis told me yesterday if i got with her id have to keep this one. Well you know, you do what you do and hope for the best. So heres hopen:)

What a weekend

Well this has been a pretty damn good weekend. I hung out with a really cool girl named Angelica for alot of it. Shes from Josephs home town and they were both in band together all through highschool. We had a couple of really long talks this weekend about some pretty deep stuff. Nothing im gonna go into ofcourse, but it did get me to thinking. And you guys know what happends when Patrick thinks to much...I start to day dream about how certain things may play out. So in my head i was reviewing the conversation I just had with her and after she told me her story she said, "im sure you think im crazy now lol" I said no and told her that its always good to know that im not the only one with things in my life i need to work on, or something like that. What i could have said was our problems make us who we are and shape us into better people. No one is happy all the time and no one has no probelms, there are just people who have more than others. Anywayz, since she doesn't know about this journal i can pretty much say that im definitly going to be hanging out with her more often. You should see her pictures...wow... Travis met her the other night and he said that if i wasn't already interested he definitly would be. Well to bad sucker!! hehe jk. Anyways, i have a long paper to write so i need to get back to it. I just thought that id write in here about this for future reference. You never know when someone is gonna ask you, when was the first time we really hung out anyway? I know ive had several people ask me that.

METALLICA!!!

I have seen the faces of my gods....and their names are Metallica!! This show was way better than the last show i saw. First off, I could actualy see the band this time. Second, I got to rock out with someone who was just as big a fan as I am, Laura Patchsky (ya i know i probably spelled that wrong). Also, they played 3 out of thd 4 songs i really wanted to hear this show: Fade to black, No Leaf Clover, and I dissapear. The one they didn't play was whiskey in the Jar, but i knew that was pushing it a bit. Also it was Kirks bday tomorrow, so they all pied him tonight. It was so funny. Its also kinda weird how the last show i saw them it was James' bday, and this time its kirks. Maybe next year it will be Larz' turn. Well here is the set list. Rock on forever guys.

Blackened
Fuel
The Memory Remains
No Leaf Clover
Frantic
Turn The Page (i couldn't believe they played this. it was so random to hear it, but sooo bad ass)
Wherever I May Roam
The God That Failed
Fade To Black (my favorite song that i finaly got to hear)
Sad But True
Fight Fire With Fire
- - - -
I Disappear
Nothing Else Matters (I almost cried when this came on...again)
Master Of Puppets
One
Enter Sandman
- - - -
Disposable Heroes
Seek And Destroy

Blast!!!

I download Metallica's documentary that came out in theaters called Metallica:Some Kind of Monster. It took about 2 days to download and I stayed up until about 4:30am watching it only to find out that the last 9 minutes of the movie is missing!!!! Now ive already seen it, but i want my 9 minutes damn it!! So i have to go search for at least the second half of the film to see if i can find that missing part and paste them together to make one big file. Well anyways... 8 days and counting!! I also found out from Dustin where our seats are for the show. I had originaly been told they were on the 9th row, well they are on the 9th row......... of section 211. Which isn't bad nessesarily, just farther away that i had thought they were. I do appreciate the fact that Anna got online and bought the tickets for us, but next time, i think im buying the tickets for everyone so we get them as soon as they go on sale and not 2 days later.

CRAP!!!

AH GOD DAMMIT!!! Kerry just conceded!! And I just updated this like 20min ago!! Well never mind my first entry about Oh

still 14 days........

Election!!

Well SHit! Damn that George Bush! After all the "get out the vote" stuff and talk of huge turn outs nothing really happend differently. Bush still got Florida and chances are he will get Ohio too. Unfortunitly, Kerry isn't ready to give up yet, so we have to wait a few weeks until they count all the provisional ballots. I sware if Kerry pulls this off still its going to be one of the biggest slaps in the face :) Which is fine by me

I went to a watching party last night but they didn't have cable and even though there were alot of girls there who were half way to being drunk, me and joseph decided it still sucked so we came back to the room and just watched the rest of it here on CNN. I still need to work out housing payments or something. I dont know how this is going to work out this time, it just seems like money is never in my favor. If we get some more money in one place, we loose it in another so we can never get ahead. Oh well, im sure it will work out in the end like it always does.

Anyway, I suppose thats about it. 14 days until METALLICA!!!!!

Ok since Laura mentioned me in her's, i will mention her in mine :) Laura and I ate lunch yesterday and it was fun. She is a really cool girl and I like hanging out with her.

There ya go :)

Happy Birthday to Me!

Alright, I guess since this is my birthday I can write in here. One more year has gone by and I suppose Im not to much smarter or taller.......damn it lol. Oh well, Im still just as single as I was a year ago too. Oh well, at least i kinda made up for it last weekend ;) Man i really dont have anything to say in this thing.

School is going alright i suppose, i hate my comm theory class. The kayla thing is pretty much settled for now unfortunitly. Friends are still friends despite thier best efforts sometimes and i still wish my father would fall off a clif and die. If he tries to contact me today I sware to god I'll put a restraining order on his ass.

The Bruce haunted house is going on tonight and tomorrow but i decided to not be in tonight so I can relax with friends and what not. So ya, only one night of being the "scary shot guy" this year.

I guess alot of things have happend over the last year that are worth mentioning. I won hall of the year again which was cool. I got turned down like what...3 times this year? Almost lived in appartment but had to come back to bruce at the last second. Added a new cymbal to my drum set. Christopher Reeves died which reall sucked. Oh, I got a new computer this year, that was pretty bad ass. Well, I guess thats all I can really think of right now. So *cheers*, heres to a better year with more fun and hopefuly alot more girls :)

The Night Before Bruce

Twas the night before Bruce and all through the house
not a creature was sturing, not even a mouse.
the boxes were all packed by the door with care
in hopes that strong, able, and awake bodies would soon be there.

I was nesstled all snug in my computer chair,
while visions of women danced around my thinning hair.
And ma'ma in her kerchif and nice little cap
had just settled down for a long 8 hour nap.

When in the living room there arose such a clatter
mom sprang from her bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the living room she flew like a flash
Tore open the door with a good hard SMASH!

The light of the screen on the newly packed up room
gave a hint that the school year was about to resume.
When what to her wondering eyes should appear
I, her son, holding a whole lot of beer.

With a twist and a turn, so lively and quick
she knew in a moment i was going to be sick!
More rapid than eagles my vomits did come
and for some reason i shouted and named each one.

Now PIZZA now TACO now BURGER with fixins
on CHICKEN on TURKEY who ill call Richard Nixon!
to the top of the toelit did I slowly crawl,
now flush away flush away flush away all!

And then, in a twinkling, I heard by the door
the screaming and yelling i didn't want to take anymore.
As i drew in my hand, and was turning around
Down came the first punishment, down with a bound.

Her eyes -- how they burn! Her dimples how mean,
Her cheeks were puffy, like two big red beans.
Her droll little mouth was drawn like a frown
And i knew in an instant I had let her down.

She was screaming and yelling, a stern type of mom
and i laughed when i saw her, her temper blew like a bomb.
with a wink of her eye and a twist of her head,
Soon lead me to know i was about to be dead.

She spoke not a word, but went straight to her work
and filled up the gun, then turned with a jerk.
And laying her fingers along the trigger
and giving it a squeeze, she then took the job of grave digger.

I awoke from my chair, to my wonder and joy
it was all a bad dream, a bad dream for this little boy.
I climbed into my "bed" and snuggled in tight,
"Happy move in to all, and to all a good night!"

Life...........by Christina

"but i do have the answer to your question - i know why you keep yourself alive. one of the greatest and most beautiful things about human nature is our element of curiousity. without it there would be no urpose in life, b/c we wouldnt care about anything. but were curious, and we do care, so we keep going. all of us. its the reason we manage to drag ourselves out of bed in the morning. its the reason we dont jump out of the window of the bedroom. and its the reason that we keep trying, over and over and over again, even after we get hurt worse than we ever thought possible, b/c somewhere out there is this idea that has been planted in our brain that life really is worth it and there is something that is worth living for. and b/c were curious and want to know, we keep on going. that is why you keep yourself alive."

Thank you Christina for your personal insight into life.

Top new music on my computer

Death Cab For Cutie, Dashboard Confessional, Velvet Revolver, The White Stripes, Jet, Alter Bridge. May not be new for you, but it's new on my computer.

Feed me Semore........Feed Me!!

Man, I need a girl.  Maybe its just because I have to sit in this house day after day after day after day after day after day....... alone most of the day and the only company I ever really have is my Mom and her 31 year old roommate.  I cant really tell if its the physical part of me talking or the emotional part or both.  I guess both because I mean what guy doesn't want to get laid every now again............ok all the time.............. but i also just want a girl to  be there and chill with and know that hey she really digs me over every other guy.  I need to feel important again.  Not that I consider my self unimportant now cuz I dont, i have friends and family and thats totaly cool and I cant imagine what I'd do with out them,  but you know what i mean.

Every year I start school with one thing in mind when it comes to girls, get a girlfriend or at least get laid.  So far, that has happend 2 out of 3 years.  Not to bad for a guy of my..............stature.............. and for a guy that never had anything close to a gf in high school, but I've got to get back into the swing of things.  The best opportunity I had last year I totaly threw away because I was fucking blind and was thinking with my dick and not my head.  Well I learned my lesson after she stoped talking to me all together.

Maybe I should do what I did my 1st year which was just show up and do school and just see if one comes along instead of looking for one.  Cuz I still got one that year.  Second year I came looking for one and got one.  Third year came looking for one and almost kinda got one, but I guess all the crap that was still going on in my life from that summer and what was being carried over from that last semester just needed to be dealt with and fixed before I could really move on.  So maybe that was why nothing ever happend.  Well, only a few more weeks until I get back and see how my luck turns out this year.  Wish me luck.

Well today was an interesting day. I talked to someone I hadn't talked to in a very long time only to find out that the reason we hadn't talked in so long wasn't the actual reason AT ALL. I know this sounds pretty vauge, but its a long long story and nothing can change what happend anyway. I can tell you its a girl I use to know and that she seems to be doing pretty well for her self now days. I always wondered how she was doing and what exactly happend that summer. Now I know...and knowings half the battle :) GI JOE!!! hehe jk. Anywayz, it was good to talk to her finaly. I had debated weither or not to IM her for a few days now. Im surprised I still remembered her screen name. We cleared up some............misunderstandings.........we had about each other and what went on. So, in summary, Id like to thank Shelley for giving me that shove to IM her finaly.

And that, as they say, is the rest of the story.

The Circus

Today I went to the circus for the first time in about 14 years.  I think the last time I went I was about seven.  It was just as crazy now as it was back then.  People being shot out of a cannon, the tight rope walker, crazy asians doing crazy things with large rings and plenty of hot girls walking around with siblings :)  Not to mention me and my mom went because we were baby sitting these kids so we didn't have to pay for anything!  Needless to say, I ate well tonight.  The whole night would have been pretty perfect if not for one little kid as i was standing in line to get pizza looked at what i could only hope was a sister or baby sitter, and said, "look he should be in the circus."  Needless to say, that put a damper on things for a few minutes.  I think that was the longest line for food I had ever been in.  Other than that, it was pretty damn cool.

PS. I haven't had anyone comment on here for a while, anyone happen to still be reading this?

ive taken 2 tests that say this

Demublican - Repocrat DOES sound cool... You don't
really know what the hell you are, and you're
not concerned with politics. You could go on
either side;- that or you just don't want to
deal with either side...I can't tell much about
you, since you've either cheated on the test,
or you're really pliable on issues. Don't
worry, you'll side soon enough, by your choice
or not... Bwoohoohoohoo...


Who's side are you on, anyway? (Democrat or Republican) Now with PICTURES! (gasp)
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Almost there......

Alrighty, its been a while since my last entry so I figured I should write in here again. August is almost here and that means that school is almost here again. I think the same thing this summer that I have always thought before every year of school. I dont want to go back because I like being lazy, but I do want to go back for friends and such.

As for this summer, things are finaly returning to as they were before my computer crashed. I pretty much sit at my computer and play Warcraft III until lunch time. Then I'll eat, play drums for 30-45min then get back to Warcraft III and do that until my mom gets home around 6 or so. Pretty rough life i know :) I think I've improved on my druming this summer, especialy on my double bass work. Speed is coming slowly, but the control and combinations of beats is coming quicker. I dont know how much of it will transfer into what I play in Supergrover, but I think if anything it will make me more stable and confident in my beats and fills.

For those of you who are wondering, and for those of you who have already asked, I dont talk to Desi much as of late. When we do we generaly stick to topics such as school, her job, and just straight forward stuff, nothing to deep or depressing which is actualy kind of nice. I dont worry about her anymore or what shes doing or whos she's with or anything. As they say, ignorance is bliss:) Summer time, at least while ive been in college, has always been my 3 months of forgetting all the crappy things that happend over the last year. Kind of my way of just cutting everything off that I dont really want to be dealing with right now. I know that may sound harsh, but hey, its summer, I need a break from classes, Bruce hall, relationships, people I dont like and cant stand seeing everyday. The only thing I wanted to carry over this summer didn't happen, so now this summer is almost just like last summer, except with out the father leaving, and with out the moving to a new house.

Anywayz, Metallica's movie is coming out soon. Its called Metallica:Some Kind Of Monster. Nicholas and I are going to go see it on the monday after it comes out because monday is his day off. Its going to be a hell of a good time. Everyone should go see it, its actualy getting really good reviews from people other than Metallica fans, not like there are alot of those left anyway.

Well ok, I think im done. I may update this before I get back to school, but probably not. If not, See you guys back up in Denton, where ever all you guys might be.

Initial D is awesome!

Not that you care, but... you're Takumi.


Which Initial D Character Are You?
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Rain Rain go away.....

Ok ok, its been 2 weeks... I suppose I can write in here again since I now have a computer to do it with. WOO HOO!! Ya thats right, Patrick's sporting a new motherboard (a crappy one, but its a new crappy one), an athlon xp 2800+ processor (which only runs at a 2200+ for various reasons), and pc2100 512mg of Ram. I found out my 120gig hard drive is still under warrinty, so im mailing that back in tomorrow and hopefully they will replace it with a brand new one :) That way I wont have to use this 6 year old 10gig hard drive that could very well die on me at any given moment.

Im still trying to get housing arrangments made for next year. If my mom would ever pay housing then I could work with those people. The lady from housing, Ruth, called me today and said as soon as she gets payment in, she can move me in there. So....who knows whats going on. I think Joseph is pretty worried Im not gonna get in there, but dont worry, Ill get in there...eventualy.

Hung out with Son a few days ago. That was really cool. We sat at my house for a while and watched President Reagans casket go down to the capitol. It was sad, but cool to see. Then we headed up to Denton to grab Travis' old video card he said i could have which Brandon had. So we tried to stop by to see Travis but got lost so decided to give up and go eat since trafic was aweful and we still needed to drop my Mozart to see Brandon. We went to applebees which was awesome because I hadn't been in a while. Turns out that video card makes some funny noises for a while when you turn it on, but they seem to go away after a while of it being on. Maybe it just needs to warm up or something.

Im going down to Waco on thursday to say with my brothers because my mom is going to Florida with her best friend. It should be cool, but I wont have a comp or drums. I guess I'll just play ALOT of ps2. My mom said she'd give us some money for the week so we could go see movies and such. It should be interesting to say the least :)

Whats up with all the rain lately? Its been pretty crazy. Floods and stuff in June....weird.

Well ok thats it for now.

The summer so far...

so its been a while since I last updated but I have good reasons for that. My computer actualy died on me. The 120gig hard drive and the motherboard all died on me at the same time....weird hu? Ya I thought so too. So thanks to Son, I recently snagged an AMD athlon 2800+ with a motherboard combo deal for $100! Yea the motherboard is retardedly cheap, but hey you know what, it will get the job done... for now. Also today online I bought a stick of 512 pc2100 ram for $51. I also have a new shiney $29 case to put everything in. So once the RAM comes in and that guy gives me back my old computer, I can put everything together and have my nice new computer....yay!! Finaly computer that will be considered at least decent, not old and crappy like my last one.

If your wondering how Im updating this, im at my friend Vickie's house. She was kind enough to let me use her computer to buy my ram and update this. She is sooooo cooooooool :)

Also, other things have happend recently....such as....being forced to move back into Bruce....again....for my 4th year... It is kind of a mixed blessing but you know what, at least I dont have to worry about a bunch of retarded people that use to live there, that dont any more. I get to pretty much start over with a few good friends remaining. Joseph says he wants to be my roommate again, so Im happy that I can go back to the old room, even though i already said my goodbyes a month ago...but oh well...I know at least a few people might be happy to see me return.

As for the summer so far, Ive pretty much just been chillen at my house with my ps2 and such. I went to a few parties, had a good time, had ALOT of problems with getting the cable hooked up and installed in my house.

Well I should have my new comp up by hopefully the end of the week or so. If anyone out there is wondering why I haven't called you recently its because my numbers were on my computer which crashed so call me if you want to talk. Ok thats about it for now, see you guys online soon I hope.

97.1 The Eagle.............I WILL MISS YOU!!!

FUCK CLEAR CHANNEL COMMUNICATIONS!!! They fucking canceled my favorite radio station since I was 13 years old!! Thats 8 years ago!!! Its not like they are just moving stations....no no....they just fired everyone. They didn't even tell the djs they were fired until the DAY BEFORE!!! Those FUCKING ASS HOLES!! I will forever miss my Mandatory Metallica, Cindy Skull, and Dangerous Darren. I pray one day they all find good jobs that wont fuck them over in the end. Nobody should ever listen to the following stations because they are owned by fucking pricks who just want to force us the music we listen to:

102.1 the edge
mix 102.9
the fucking new Sunny 97.1
Fox sports radio 1190AM
106.1 Kiss FM
92.5 KZPS the classic rock station

Goodbye The Eagle....you will be missed by all.

Last Entry for a while

Well its that time again. Time to go home for a while for another long summer. Last summer was......well not so good. Hopefully this summer will be a little better. I will have Desi and Jessica up here in denton this time so I hopefully can see them pretty often if they let me. I might get to go down to Waco and spend a few weeks or so with Jeremy and Nicholas, so that would be cool.

Its hard to look back on this year and judge it really. The only major things that happend really was getting fired, changing majors, becoming friends with Desi, and winning hall of the year again. Dont get me wrong, all of those are a big deal, but compared to last year...... I dont know. Its just weird. I suppose I leave this year with an uneasy feeling.

Im moving to an apartment with Travis and his friend Donovan next semester. Travis is pretty damn excited but its deffinitly bitter sweet for me. One one hand I want to get outta here for various reasons I wont get into and the other hand this is my home. I dont live where my mom lives anymore, i live here......bruce hall.....B209. So many life changing things have happend here that its very hard to let go. I'll come back and see Son and Joseph and everyone else, But this will always hold a special place in my heart. I guess its just the final thing I have left to let go of. Im no good at good byes.

Well, to Bruce Hall and all my friends and loved ones I've met here......its been one hell of a ride. As they say, all good things must come to an end.

WOO HOO!!!!!!! METALLICA BABY!!!!!!!

Heavy metal! You rock! It's mostly about the
music instead of lyrics for you...but you
channel most of the emotion through the lyrics!
Mosh pit for you! Just be careful you don't
give yourself a concussion with so much
headbanging...


What genre of rock are you?
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Nobody

The only person you can relly on is your self. Nobody else. Not your family, not your girlfriend/boyfriend, not your friends, not anybody really. I mean when you get down to it, they are all gonna be gone one day and the only thing that is giong to be left is.........you.........alone. Think about it, one day, I'll probably end up in an old folks home with a bunch of other old people. Family may only come and visit a few times a year and I know how I hated seeing my great grandma in one of those so I know they wont injoy it either. Im not trying to be depressing, im just saying that the only person who will always be there for you is you. So make up your damn mind and stop worrying about things. Do them, or dont do them. Thats all it comes down to. Stop worrying if that girl likes you or not or weither or not you should go talk to her. Either go talk to her or dont. Dont worry about weither or not that co-worker appreciates you or even cares at all about you. Just do your job the best you can and live with it.

Here's your shot

Sum up your opinion or impression of me in one word. Leave it as a comment to this post. Then post this in your own journal, please.

Still thinking

I told travis what happend saturday night. He had some good words of encouragement and some good questions to ask. I told him what I could and probably a little more than I said that night. Now that I can look back, i think i should have said things that night. But i didn't. I dont even know if I should tell them now. I know i have changed since last year and my views on relationships and how I should handle them are MUCH different than what I did last year. I wouldn't be so damn smothering and I wouldn't need to spend every waking hour with the girl anymore. ARRGG.....But I dont know if that would change anything.....man i hate what ifs. They just make you sad and depressed. Still haven't figured things out yet. Still not ready to talk. I need more time to figure things out. The one person I want to run and talk to is the person I cant go to. Wow, deja vu.

This needs to be read from start to end, dont skip around or skim through it

24 hours later and Im still not sure how to write any of this down and not really sure if i should. I wont say what happend because thats personal and between me and who it was with. I do however want to talk about what happend afterwards.

I didn't get to sleep until 6am. I just sat here....alone in my room......thinking and listening to music. I eventualy went to the desk and sat with the guy who was working. Well not really sat with him, more like sat on the floor in front of the desk and watched whatever he was watching. I dont know...i couldn't look at him....he knew what was going on and that made me feel weird. Ive known him since I got here...and its getting harder to look at him each time i see him.

After i finaly did fall asleep and wake up at like 1, i walked around campus for about 2 hours. I was so close walking down to the bus stop i was at yesterday and just taking off. I wanted to get on that bus and let it take me as far as possible. I wanted to call my mom and have her come get me and take me away from all this mess. Thoughts ran through my mind that I hadn't thought about in a long time. thoughts like leaving school for good and thoughts like running away. Thoughts of putting blame on my parents for creating such a fucked up home to raise 3 boys who all now have emotional problems to work out. Thoughts of hating my self and everyone around me. Thoughts of...........well...............bad ones........... ones I haven't thought about in many many years.

I didn't want to talk to anyone today. I left my self invisible unless I had an away message up so I didn't have to worry about anyone IMing me. What do I say to you? What do I do? I know you are a great friend and I know how much you want happiness for me. I want happiness for you too....honestly....i really do. But this isn't it.....far from it. I did however go out with Son to best buy and Kroger. I figured I needed to get out with someone.

I think I need counciling. I think I need to get the hell out of this dorm. The more i look at coming back next year the more I feel like i dont want to. I dont even know if i want to come back to this school at all. How can I afford it? Jeremy still has another semester at Baylor left. My moms not making enough money as it is so.....I dont know. I dont know much of anything anymore.

I do know I have alot of friends here who would miss me alot. Travis, my best friend for 3 years now. Its been a ton of fun so far and I hope it contiues to be. Son, your kind of an older brother figure to me I suppose. I learn alot from you like computers, but mostly I'll remember your stories when your gone. You've been here along time so I'd like to think I'll be here to tell them when you leave. Joseph, your sleeping about 5 feet from me right now and you never read this, but in case you do, Im really lucky I got you as a roomie this year. You taught me Macs aren't all bad and made me a little more accepting of people. Brittnay....you were there for me last night when I needed someone to talk to...thank you so much. I know we didn't talk long but it helped. You've always been there for me and I hope I've returned the favor for you cuz I've tried to.

Now Desi....you didn't think I'd leave you out of this did you? lol I bet if i counted up all the times I mentioned a person in this entire journal, I'll bet you are mentioned twice as much as anyone else. Most of this could be put together in a book and you could name it The Adventures of Patrick and Desi. I suppose you know everything there is to know really. What can I tell you I haven't already told you in private. Sorry for somethings....alot of things.....thank you from the bottom of my heart for others. Oh and remember last night when you said that every memory I have of you is bad?? Thats full of shit. Weather you want to believe me or not, I have plenty of good memories about you. Why do you think I remember all of your clothes or random things you told me like blue berrys. Remember the night my parents came up....good times. Remember the music building....very good times :) What about our first kiss or the time you said yes we can give us a try? What about the night on Thanksgiving break you stayed up with me all night on the phone just so I wouldn't be alone? What about when travis knocked on the door when we were....busy....and I had to tell him to go away...remember that? What about those nights at Kharma getting ice or all the times we went to clark? Those and many more, are ALL memories that I wouldn't EVER throw away for anything. So dont ever think that all my memories of you are bad cuz thats totaly not true.

*sigh* I dont know what tomorrow's gonna bring and I dont know where Im gonna end up or who I'll end up with. I dont want to talk about any of this in person to anyone. Nobody ask me about this. Everything you need to know is here so im not telling you any more than whats already here. If I want you to know I'll bring it up to you later in person, so Dont Ask.

Thats it. im done.

A bad day that turned good.....really good

Today was an interesting day. I woke up feeling kinda grumpy and down over last night, but shelley IMed me from her cell phone during her class to see how I was doing so that made it a little better. Then I went and talked to Desi before my first class and that made me a bit happier too. I then went to history and then to my Comm1010 class where I found out i have a paper do in a few weeks. But luckily, its the exact same assignment as my Comm2020 paper that was due a few weeks ago. So all i have to do is reprint it and turn it in :)

After that me, laural, and lana went to lunch at Bruce. We sat and talked for over an hour just about anything we could think of really. It was alot of fun to just talk to people I didn't really know all that well, learn new things about new people you know? After we finaly left, me josesph and son went to CiCi's to eat then to Best Buy to hang out and talk to the girls like we always do. They were out of Pepsi's though so we were pretty dissapointed. When we finaly got back it was around 8:30 i think. Well, shelley eventualy gets online and decides she has to clean her room so she calls me on her cell. First time ive heard her voice. She really doesn't sound that young. She doesn't even act that young either. Infact, when i picked up the phone and she said hello, i thought it was Desi for a second. It was diffenitly different listening to her for a change in stead of watching words pop up on a screen. It was good though, she had fun, i had fun. Shes a good friend.

So yea, it was an interesting day. I guess I'll see how tomorrow turns out. Hopefully it will be at least some kind of good like this one was.

Happy Bday Desiree

I went to Desi's bday party tonight. By that I mean that me, her, chris (her guy), alex, shunta, and kisha went bowling. Well shunta and kisha didn't bowl, but they were at least there for a little while. I didn't quite know if i should be going or not, just because of history, but I decided to go because I know shes trying to make me happy in what she does so I should try to make her happy as well. And if she wants me there, Im there. Also, I didn't get to spend her bday with her last year cuz....well.....we wont get into that, point is i didn't spend it with her.

Anywayz, I ended up bowling a great game of 121. Thats my second best score ever. I would have beaten my record of 126 if I hadn't bowled ONE pin in the sixth frame. Oh well, afterwards we went back to Chris' room where we ate cake. After that I decided it was time for me to make my exit. I followed Desi to the bathroom and wished a happy birthday. Now Im just gonna sit in my room and hang out. I guess it was a good time. I tried to be as happy as I could be, which seemed to be harder and harder as the night went along, but I kept my spirits up for Desi and I did have fun bowling. There's nothing like a night bowling :) Well, thats about all for me.

A little diddy

Heres a cool song I just got off of itunes today. Its called Brokenheartsville by Joe Nichols. We heard it on the radio going down to san antonio this weekend which by the way was an awesome trip. It was funny cuz it fit me, my brothers, and even my mom. We all just kinda sang along by the last chorus. it was great :) Well here are the lyrics.

Brokenheartsville
by: Joe Nichols

He wore that cowboy hat to cover up his horns.
Sweet-talkin' forked tongue haf a temptin' charm.
Before I turned around, that girl was gone.
All I can say is: "Bartender, pour me somethin' strong."

Here's to the past, they can kiss my glass.
I hope she's happy with him.
Here's to the girl, who wrecked my world,
That angel who did me in.
I think the devil drives a Coupe de Ville.
I watched 'em drive away over the hill,
Not against her will, an' I've got time to kill,
Down in Brokenheartsville.

It was long on chrome, sittin' in the lot.
An' fire engine red, that thing was hot.
He revved it up, she waved goodbye.
Well, love's gone to hell and so have I.

Here's to the past, they can kiss my glass.
I hope she's happy with him.
Here's to the girl, who wrecked my world,
That angel who did me in.
I think the devil drives a Coupe de Ville.
I watched 'em drive away over the hill,
Not against her will, an' I've got time to kill,
Down in Brokenheartsville.

In other news, talked to Shelley today and found out something interesting. I was reading her journal and she had filled out one of those email survey things. Well the interesting part was her age. When we first started talking that day in the chat room, she said she was about to turn 16.....well the survey said she was only 14. So after we talked for a little bit tonight i brought it up. Turns out she was lying the whole time about her age :( i was kinda dissapointed in her. She's a good person to talk to and she makes me laugh, but you cant lie to people when all you have to go on is their word to start out with. Well, if your reading this, dont feel bad, i think i understand why you did and I forgive you for it. I promise i wont make fun of you TOO much for it lol. Well, ok thats it.

oh yea i changed my picture. injoy

ok this message is really for one person and she knows who she is.

Yea i know i said 11:30 last night, but my mom showed up earlier than i thought....so.....sorry i couldn't talk to you before i left. I thought about calling your cell but didn't want to wake you up. I hope you have a good weekend and I'll be back sunday night sometime so maybe we can catch up then. Dont get into any trouble while Im gone and if you need someone to talk to Im sure you have plenty of friends there to help you make it. Thanks for keeping me company this week on my break cuz i would have been bored to tears with out someone to talk to lol. Like I've said before, you better still be my friend after I get back unlike that other girl last week I told you about cuz I'll come kick your ass if you dont lol jk, but i would be pretty dissapointed. Well I gotta get to packing. So I guess we should of said 11 after alll cuz maybe we could have talked lol. Oh well, tty when I get back. Feel free to leave me messages online cuz Im gonna keep my computer on. Well, thats it. Bye :)

OMG....a good day!!!

I actualy had my first good day in a long time!! HOORAY!!!

Its spring break and Im here at school cuz my plans got canceled. So, day after day i get to just sit here in my room for hours on end doing pretty much whatever i want to. I met this really cool girl in a chat room today though. Her name is Shelley and she lives somewhere close to arlington, didn't tell me exactly where. We ended up talking all day pretty much. Shes going through guy problems so I gave her some advice and wished her the best. Turns out she must have really liked what I said cuz she kept coming back to talk to me again through out the day. She digs cowboy hats....score. Shes a country girl and a christian which makes it all more better. Shes going to six flags tomorrow so I'll have to find a new person to talk to all day. But yea, even though SOMEBODY nearly detroyed it, i dont let mis communications blow up into big things. i just move on.

So yes, good day. and now im going to bed and try to see if i can sleep until 8pm lol why 8pm....i dont know....just sounds good.

PS. Desi kicked a girls ass!!!!!! YOU RULE!!

Song For Dad

This is a song writen by a country singer named Keith Urban. He is pretty cool. The song is called Song for Dad and if you know anything about MY father, you'll understand why I actualy laughed out loud when i heard this today. Here are the lyrics.

Lately I've been noticing
I say the same things he used to say
And I even find myself acting the very same way
I tap my fingers on the table
To the rhythm in my soul
And I jingle the car keys
When I'm ready to go
When I look in the mirror
He's right there in my eyes
Starin' back at me and I realize

The older I get
The more I can see
How much he loved my mother and my brother and me
And he did the best that he could
And I only hope when I have my own family
That everyday I see
A little more of my father in me

There were times I thought he was bein'
Just a little bit hard on me
But now I understand he was makin' me
Become the man he knew that I could be
In everything he ever did
He always did with love
And I'm proud today to say I'm his son
When somebody says I hope I get to meet your dad
I just smile and say you already have

He's in my eyes
My heart, my soul
My hands, my pride
And when I feel alone

And I think I can't go on
I hear him sayin' "Son you'll be alright"
Everything's gonna be alright"
Yes it is

A little more of my father in me
I hope everyday I see in me
In me
In me
I hope everyday I see
A little more of my father in me


So yea that song is always good for a laugh :)

alrighty...lets go

I went to TRHA this weekend. It was really fun. Met a bunch of new people, mostly girls :) Got 3 emails from them and danced the Nsync dance for the whole place with Derek. It was SO cool.

Turns out Im not going to go see kayla this week and I didn't get to see stacy on sunday like i wanted to either. So, my plans for this week are pretty much shot. I guess I'll just stay up here all week until we go to San Antonio on Friday if we still go. My moms car broke down, so we'll see if we can get it fixed on time.

Desi, what ever you do, be safe and be smart about it.

Kayla, ok im sorry i said that, i shouldn't have used those exact words. But i still dont think you should allow this to happen.

Haven't talked to Leslie in forever. I wonder if she knows im still here...

Alrighty, i guess thats it for now.

WTF happend to me

this world is a twisted, fucked up place. Why is it that everything before 2003 was easy and everything after is hard?? At what point did life become this roller coaster of ups and downs. Is it Desi? Is it my father? What the fuck happend to me last year that I cant seem to stay happy for more than a week with out hitting one of these lows Its like every week I just want to go away and forget everything. Then I'll be happy again, but then I'll be super depressed again in a few days. Its like a cycle that never ends and just seems to spiral out of control sometimes...........is there ever an end............is there ever a moment when I'll be truely happy again? But when was the last time i was "truely happy?" Was it last semester before i got fired? When i still had stephanie and ashley wanting to hang out with me? If so, why is my happiness determind by others? Why is it since desi broke up with me i cant fall asleep most nights with out holding on to something? What the fuck happend to me and why cant i be happy for more than a few hours or few days at a time?

Cheers

Heres to catching up with old friends and making new ones. I hope the future brings brighter days for all of us.

Well, after a rough last night and a long time of thinking and talking it over with friends, I told Desi I think we need to spend some more time away from each other. Its just getting a little to hard for me to see her with other guys and my life is just suddenly getting to complicated like it was last year. I guess its just unfinished emtions that I haven't delt with yet. I got around them last year because I just went to hating her with all my friends so I didn't have to deal with it, but now, since we are friends, I have to learn how to deal with her being with other guys. My friend said that its just another step that everyone has to go through and yea it really sucks, but i'll get through it. Just give it time and everything gets better. Later in the day, Desi sent me a song and said that it fits me alot. I like to see it as a message from her. Its called I hope you dance by Lee Ann Womack. here are the lyrics.

Lee Ann Womack
I Hope You Dance

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder,
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger,
May you never take one single breath for granted,
GOD forbid love ever leave you empty handed,
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance....I hope you dance.

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance,
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Livin' might mean takin' chances but they're worth takin',
LOVIN' MIGHT BE A MISTAKE BUT ITS WORTH MAKIN'
DONT LET SOME HELL BENT HEART LEAVE YOU BITTER,
WHEN YOU COME CLOSE TO SELLING OUT RECONSIDER
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along,
Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone.)

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

Dance....I hope you dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance..
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along
Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone

Its a good song and I really like it. I remember I got rid of it last year because it made me think of her to much. But maybe now it will be a way to remember that things will get better one day. Thanks Desi

An Interesting Story

Walking to class one day, I was day dreaming about a possible future that might happen. The story goes like this...

Im in my interpersonal communications class, which is all about relationships, Desiree ends up being in my resitation class. The TA tells us to circle up our desks and asks us to talk about relationships we once had. After a few people talk about theirs, the TA suddenly calls on me and asks, "Patrick, tell us about a relation ship you once had." Now keep in mind Desi is sitting right accross from me in the cirlce. The first part of the story would happen like this...

"I had a girl friend once. She was really cool and really sweet. It took us a while to get together, but eventualy it was really awesome." The TA then asks. "Well that sounds pretty good. What happend?"

"Well, she had done things that I couldn't really bring my self to get over. They weren't towards me, but I still found it hard to forget about them, yea i know im a jerk. I would bring them up and kinda hold them against her. And our beliefs just didn't match up. So eventualy, it was just to much for her to deal with and she broke up with me." After the class gives a collective "awwww" the TA then asks, "well im sorry to hear that. If she were here right now, what would you say to her?" Now at this point, the story goes a number of different ways depending on how I feel about her at the time. First we will start off as though I hate her to no end.

1. "You are a dirty slut."
2. " I tried everything to get over you and it was still the worst time in my life. I hate you!!."
3. "You should have tried to make it work, you didn't even give me a chance!"
4. "I'll kill you if you ever try to hurt me again."
5. " I needed you that semester and you just through me away!"

Or we could go the oppisite way and pretend I love her.
1. "I miss you soooo much."
2. "I've never stoped caring about you."
3. "I wished we could try again."
4. "Old flames die hard, so lets see if we can rekendle that fire baby."

But in reality I dont feel any of those things are true, maybe bits of each emotion are true, but none of them as a whole. So, if this actualy happend tomorrow the answer I would most likely give would go something like....

"if she were here now, I would tell her you know, we had really good times, like the night after you met my parents (smiling really big). (everyone laughs) But serously, if she were here now, I would say, sometimes I do miss the good times, and Im sorry for being such a jerk alot of times, but I understand why you broke up with me and Im ok with that now and Im just happy I have you back in life, even if we dont feel the same about each other now."

After that, I would give her a quick glance and a smile and after class probably a big hug. Then id probably say something sarcastic like, "so that was a great class. Dont you think?"

And thats my story.

The Passion and a crazy video

So last night I went out and saw The Passion of the Christ. All I can say is............lsdflasdjdslfj...............It was the most awe inspiring thing ive ever seen. After it was over we just sat there in silence. I didn't know what to say or do. I couldn't get up, I couldn't move, I couldn't speak, so we just sat there. After we got up and got to the car we still didn't say anything all the way home. You could cut the tension with a knife........seriously. So if you haven't seen this movie.......GO SEE IT!!

Also today was pretty fun. Me, Desi, Cliften, Kisha, and eventualy Chris all went to Crumley to and cooked enchiladas and rice and beans. It was really good. I was super impressed by their cooking talents. Of course, I didn't cook any lol. I video taped :) I have to say Ive never had so much fun with a camera. I walked around the dorm for a while and taped them cooking. Then Desi asked me to go over to Bruce and find chris and ask him to come over. At first I was going to say no, but she said I could take the camera so I was like SURE!! So i walked to bruce, talking about everything I saw and passed along the way. Went to the lobby, and since chris was there, I convinced him to come so we walked back making jokes as we walked. Then we ate, then I had a stupid meeting at 8, then I came back about an hour later. I quickly convinced them to watch the video I had shot. It was greatness. Desi said was gonna try and make a copy of it for me. You know, as much as its weird to see her flirt with Chris and think that was me once, i have to be an adult and admit he is kind of a cool guy so far. He made funny jokes and laughed at mine. And he doesn't seem to be the type of guy who would just use her. So, I think she might beat me to our deal :( but dont worry, starting tomorrow Im in full swing, already got a girl i want to ask to hang out sometime so we will see how that goes.

And more good news, Brittnay seems to be doing alot better. I saw her in the lobby laughing which is always good and I talked to her online tonight and she said she was doing better. So every thing SEEMS to be going alright for the time being, but my life is weird like that. One minute Im on cloud nine and by the next day Im depressed as ever. So....lets hope it stays this way for at least a little while longer this time.

A Message...

THIS IS A MESSAGE FROM DESIREE TO YOU 4. I HOPE YOU PAY ATTENTION.

"FUCK YOU... SON, TRAVIS, DERICK, AND JOESPH!!!

Son... you hate me and I have no idea why. The amount of conversation he have had was last year fall semester and that included you saying I have nice boobs and a nice ass and me not knowing how to respond. Ever since then you have had it out for me.

Travis... Flick you off too. HOw can you be so mean and hateful? All I have ever been to you is nice and kind but before you even met me you hated me. Why? Because of Son? DO you always follow in his footsteps?

Derick... You're mean to a lot of people. That is who you are. I know you don't like me no idea why but o well.

As for you Joesph... SORRY FOR GOING TO YOUR ROOM TO BE WITH MY FRIEND WHEN I NEEDED ONE. Must you follow in Son's hatered as well? I can only apologize so much and I'm done.

I tried to get y'all to like me. Well you know what? Screw you all. I don't need such vicious people to like me. I refuse to change who I am to fit in with y'all. Why lower myself to y'all's standards? It's not worth it.

As to Patrick's well being... Right now if I stopped being his friend he would blame it on y'all and hold it against y'all and then y'all would lose him. I however refuse to put Patrick through this AGAIN. I've put up with y'all's shit for as long as I care to and I refuse to put up with it anymore. You ALL need to wake up and realize Patrick is a GROWN man and he CAN and WILL make his own choices. He IS allowed to have his own friends and do things that y'all disapprove of. You can't tell him what to do and who to be friends with.

I let y'all break me down for the LAST time. I never knew what a bully was like. I have always made friends with everyone. I refuse to lower my self down to y'all's level of meanness and FLICK you off when I see you. If you don't care to speak to me when you see me then don't. If you want to ignore me then go ahead. Just stop and think about your actions before you lose Patrick. "

bitching....just bitching

Heres my venting for a night. thats all it is...just venting. Nobody draw conclusions on anything cuz I know I hinted at stuff in here. This is a journal, so i get to put things in here I dont nessesarily mean. Ok...ready...GO!!

Damn it, why the hell is life so complicated some times. Im trying to type this paper thats do in 12 hours and I cant consintrate because of alot of different things. And the crappy part is I should have been done with some of these a long time ago. Infact, i was done with them along time ago, they just popped back up in the last couple of months. And the new problems are just as complicated. Ive got all these thoughts running though my head and I dont have any idea what I want to do. Maybe its just late and Im just tired and cant think very well. I thought I had everything figured out not to long ago.

(ok heres the part for Desi)

I guess I just feel like and ass for all this shit I did last year. I put you through so much shit. Why? Who the fuck knows. I was a bastard ok? I was a bad boy friend...there i said it. I couldn't get past some stuff you did and I threw it back in your face over and over again. And now look at me, Im still single. Breaking up with me was probably one of the best things for you. You got to be who you wanted and didn't have to worry about anyone trying to change you any more. What did I get to go home to? A family who was falling apart at DAMN SEEMS!! I lost my father, my home, my pets all in the matter of 3 months of being at home. And I didn't have any friends at home. My friends that lived close to me left me after highschool. I had to fend for my self and the only help I had was my brothers. All these things I want to tell you and I dont even know how to say them.

(now the part for my other friends)

And why cant some of my friends get a grip? Me and Desi are friends again. You can go to hell if you dont like me hanging out with her.

(ok back to Desi)

What am i going to do? I wish you were online right now. I thought about calling you, but I dont want to wake you up. You dont deserve to have a half sane ex bf calling you so that he can say stuff that isn't even important enough to wake you up for.

(ok back to genral ranting)

Man this blows...I hate this paper...I hate being poor...I hate the fact I didn't have a good enough father who could have raised me better on what to do about girls or relationships. Or how about a father that was still FUCKING HERE YOU FUCKING CUNT!!!

*sigh* there...I feel better.

A night out

Last night was really fun. Me and Desi went to Karma and just hung out like old times. We talked about alot of things that we hadn't before and I think told her somethings I had needed to tell her since we broke up. So it was kind of a little therapy session for a while. She bought me cheesecake which was totaly awesome. Then after that we went back to Bruce and she wanted to prove to me she could play piano now, so we got a key and went doiwn there. Omg, she could actualy play 3 songs!! I tried so hard back when we were going out to teach her ANYTHING and she never got any of it. I was so proud of her :) I also got to play some of her old favorites that she hadn't heard in a while and I got to play some new stuff that she hadn't heard before. Over all I think I played pretty crapy lol. I hadn't been at a piano in months so everything was pretty bad. Not to mention she had to listen to me try to sing some things of which i didn't know the words to. But yea, so it was over all a great night and Im glad we got to spend some time together.

Crap Crap Crap

Ok well forget the idea of having someone to date for a while. Turns out Leslie is very, as she puts it, "anti-relationship" right now. So, once she told me everything that happend, I told her I was looking for someone to have a relationship with, hopefully her. Well ofcourse thats all shot to hell now. To make a long story short, we decided to just be friends since shes not looking for anyone right now. Which means, Im back on the hunt again, which means, i have nobody.....again. No crushes, no possibilities, only a few hot chicks that I'll never get with. The only good part about today was Supergrover practice. We jammed so hard through those Weezer songs. It was freakin awesome. Me and Desi are going to Karma tonight and shes gonna buy me a coke or something cuz of how shitty my day has been.

Oh yea, also found out i have a 4-5 page paper due on wednesday that I haven't started yet. Yea me :(

A damn good weekend

I ended up not going to church this morning with leslie because she said she was feeling bad. I was a little dissapointed that I didn't get to hang out with her, but we made up for it later tonight.

Joseph said he was hungry tonight so I suggested we go to IHOP since I knew she was working tonight. So we went up there and ofcourse got her section and sat and just talked for a while. It was fun. Joseph and Son seemed to like her, especialy Son. Found out some more stuff about her, stuff I was like "woo thats so cool." Shes working until 5am and then working her other job 8am to 4pm. I could never make that and still live to tell the tail. Im sure shes use to it by now though. Maybe I can get her to come to King Koopa on thursday night if shes not working the whole time. Im sure she'd injoy the DDR corner.

Supergrover practiced tonight. We ran through mostly Weezer stuff for the up coming program. and then tried to do some other things. I had them leave their amps in here because we are practicing tomorrow too. Maybe I can ask her to come stop by for a while, i dont know, maybe its best she not listen to us until we are ready for people to hear us. We are still learning some of the songs. Oh well, whatever.

I also bought some new shoes today. They are Spalding brand from PayLess. Oh thats right.....payless. Only cost me $25 and they are pretty good kicks.

Over all Id say I had a pretty damn good weekend :)

Trying new things is good sometimes

So heres the story. A few days ago I get this double match on hotornot.com and the girl had a paid acount so I got to email her for free. So i emailed her and gave her my IM name. Literarly a minute later she IMs me and we start talking. Turns out she works at IHOP on the edge of campus and has seen me in there before. We keep talking and we decide to hang out after she gets off work a few days later. So about 10pm I show up at IHOP to meet her. I ended up sitting there for about an hour waiting for her to get off of work cuz they wouldn't let her freaking go. It was cool though, I had never read that many comics out of the news paper before. Then we went to her apartment so she could change and then we went to Jimmy Johns. Shes pretty cool. Cute, funny, a good christian girl. She invited me to go to church tomorrow so thats always good. My mom will be thrilled that I just went to church period. Her name is Leslie and shes 18 and shes from Lubbock, I think. But anywayz, shes really cool. Im sure I'll hang out again with her sometime.

Other than that, nothing exciting has happend lately.

100 Years

Its been a while since I put lyrics to a song in here. I think I found a good song though so here it is. Its called 100 Years by Five for Fighting. I recently bought this off of the itunes music store. I really like how it talks about life and making the most of things while you have them.

I'm 15 for a moment
Caught in between 10 and 20
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are
I'm 22 for a moment
She feels better than ever
And we're on fire
Making our way back from Mars

15... there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to lose
15...there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live...

I'm 33 for a moment
Still the man but you see I'm
A kid on the way
A family on my mind

I'm 45 for a moment
The sea is high
And I'm heading into a crisis
Chasing the years of my life

15... there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to lose yourself
Within a morning star

15... I'm all right with you
15... there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live...

Half time goes by
Suddenly you're wise
Another blink of an eye
is gone
The sun is getting high
We're moving on...

I'm 99 for a moment
Dying for just another moment
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are

15... there's still time for you
22... I feel her too
33... you're on your way
Every Day's a new Day

15... there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to choose
Hey 15... there's never a wish better than this

When you only got 100 years to live

Another valentines day

Alrighty, another v-day has come and gone with nothing very special happening, well nothing special in a romatic kind of way. I did however manage to contract pnemonia a week before though. I had to go to the doctor and they put a bunch of crap in me, including needles *shivers* Then wouldn't you know on the ONE time it snows this year, Im stuck at home with no friends, besides my mom with damn pnemonia. The only good thing that came out of that weekend was I was still able to make a snow man that was taller than I was.

Desi did try to make it a good v-day for me though. She was gonna give me a gift each day starting on wednesday and then be like "surprise!!" on saturday. But since I went home on thursday afternoon, I kinda shot that idea to hell. I felt bad cuz she had it all planned out and Im sure it would have been cool to hang out that day, but what are you gonna do, it just wasn't ment to be. I did however make good use of the chocolate she gave me except for the huge heart that is just to good looking to eat, so ill probably just save it as a gift. Lets see...anything else...nope. Later

Quiz Time

See how well you know me. Take my quiz. You have to sign up for it first though but its free and quick. So go a head and take it.

http://connect.tickle.com/test.html?id=fnPiAiifhfCUcxqZ&

Pholph's Scrabble Generator My Scrabble© Score is: 44. What is your score? Get it here.

2003

Well, the year is finaly over and I'm finaly back in Bruce where I belong. I thought Id at least give an over view of the year because ALOT happend this year. So heres a list of the most important things in the order that they happend.

1. Got broken up with for the first time. (no bitterness)lol
2. Dad gets kicked out of the house for cheating on my mom....again...
3. Dad stops talking to us.
4. Dad cuts us off of money which forces us to eventualy loose our house...again...
5. Jeremy moves home from Baylor in order to work full time to help with money
6. Nicholas gets a job for the first time in over a year.
7. Me and Desi stop talking (March)
7a. Run for Treasurer for BHA and won.
8. Bruce Jam
8a. Won Hall of the year with our bad ass NSYNC dance
9. Go home for the summer where I only get to eat once every 2 days or so. We also lived on food from the food bank and food that our church gave us.
10. House gets forclosed on.
11. Dad comes over one last time to pick up his shit. In turn, me and my brothers yell at him for an hour on how much a shity father he has been. His responce was to point fingers at my mom. who wasn't there.
12. Find a new house, start to move.
13. Threw away most of my child hood things that I had had since I was 4.
14. Move back into Bruce.
15. Nicholas my brother, is thrown out of the house for smoking pot...again...and goes to live with jeremy, my other brother, in Waco.
16. Loose 2 RAs in the first 2 weeks of school.
17. Got robbed on homecoming spirit wall.
18. Decide to change majors to Communications.
19. Desi and I start talking again. (october)
20. Turn 21 Woo Hoo!!
22. Go to band banquet with Brittnay.
23. Thanksgiving with Desi and the gang.
24. Christmas break starts.
25. Nicholas trys to slit jeremys throat.
26. Stuck at home with no one to talk to, no internet and a telephone that no one has the number to.
27. New years Eve with Travis where he got plasterd and puked twince haha

Well thats the jist of it. I guess if i have to make a new years resolution it would be to continue my streak. Travis and Son, you should know what im talking about.